You want more regulation? John Boehner’s your man. Fiscal responsibility? He can do that too. Big government? Small government? Boehner does it all.

1994: Contract with America

Back in 1994, John Boehner stood with Newt Gingrich, Dick Armey, Tom DeLay and others to sign the Contract with America, pledging to balance the budget and cut Washington bureaucracy. It was a pledge for limited government and fiscal responsibility.

2000-2008: Champion of big government

But in 2001, George W. Bush — who wanted to be known as the “Education President” — pushed passage of No Child Left Behind (NCLB), the largest increase of federal control over local schools since Lyndon Johnson, spearheaded by Boehner. Bush rewarded Boehner’s support by announcing the program in Boehner’s district.

Under Bush’s and Boehner’s leadership, spending for the Department of Education grew from $42 billion in 2001 to $68.5 billion in 2008 —close to a 39% increase.

Boehner also shepherded the largest budget deficits in American history through the House, turning a surplus of $127 billion when Clinton left office in 2001 into a $482 billion deficit when Obama came in.

Boehner also voted for the Medicare drug benefit, a massive new entitlement, though he later asked Congress to postpone enacting in, saying Congress was given bad information on the cost and the nation couldn’t afford it.

Becoming a big-spending Republican worked well for Boehner: he was elected Majority Leader in 2006.

Born again fiscal conservative

Now with a Democratic president in office, Boehner’s a fiscal conservative again, blasting the new administration for reckless spending, enacting new entitlements and passing debt on to our children and grandchildren.

Last week, Boehner said President Obama’s proposed budget “spends too much, taxes too much and borrows too much.”

“This debt is being piled on the backs of our kids and grandkids with no relief in sight,” Boehner said.

I once had a friend named Brad who was known as a ladies’ man. I asked him what his secret was. “I’m whatever they want me to be,” he said.

Sounds like John Boehner.